


Last Christmas.

by Jind0r1



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-22
Updated: 2019-10-22
Packaged: 2020-12-28 08:35:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21133808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jind0r1/pseuds/Jind0r1
Summary: In which Jinsol spends her last Christmas filled with Yerim.OrJinsol spends her Last Christmas before leaving with things undone.





	Last Christmas.

**Author's Note:**

> Prepare tissues just in case if this is SAD sad. Happy reading!

** _Last Christmas _ ** _ , I gave you my heart _

_ But the very next day you gave it away _

_ This year, to save me from tears _

_ I'll give it to  _ ** _someone special._ **

_ - _

Day 1 of the Christmas Season.

**T** oday is the first day of Christmas and it’s a Monday.

Monday mornings are the worst for Jinsol and with today’s occasion, it’s even worse now. Everyone is getting in the festive spirit; her workplace has been decorated with Christmas decorations except her office. Having her own room in the workplace gives Jinsol the privacy she needs and keeps any noisy noses out of her business.

Her office is dull, filled with greys and more greys, only when Yerim comes around there will be some colours in her office but other than that it has always been the coldest and has the dullest room in the whole workplace.

Vivi, her boss, has been trying to spice up her office by bringing in colour items but it usually ends up back in her office on her table. Jinsol could only watch her boss’s attempts on that. Jinsol has been spending her last few days seeing colleagues wearing Christmas-themed sweaters or scarfs while she dawns a dull grey suit to work.

“Not getting into the festive spirits again Ms Jung?”

“Not this year Mdm Son,” Jinsol smiles at the office cleaner whom she always talks to when she arrives at work. Mdm Son will always look out for Jinsol and sometimes brings her lunch when she sees Jinsol coop up in her office having another cup of coffee.

Mdm Son is the first person Jinsol has opened to after she left and is the first person who has been Jinsol’s listening ear after everything. Mdm Son will also help take care of Yerim whenever she is free and the first person who didn’t stick her nose into Jinsol’s business.

Everyone has stopped working and began spending time together with their family members, all gathered together to sing Christmas songs.

Except for Jinsol.

For Jinsol, it is another lonely Christmas spent alone at work. Jinsol just isn’t ready to be all festive with Yerim again when _someone_ is not with them anymore, what makes it worse was that she left them during Christmas, and it destroyed Jinsol so badly that she lost the mood to feel festive anymore.

She has long forgotten the meaning of Merry Christmas.

Jinsol sits on her chair on the balcony and drinks the cup of warm coffee, her face scrunches up when the bitter liquid flowed down her throat.

Though coffee was never her favourite choice of drink to drink in the morning, but it was _her_ favourite beverage and _she_ made it Jinsol’s second favourite other than tea.

‘I must have forgotten to add sugar today or the coffee is just telling me how I feel today,’ Jinsol shook her head and let out a big breath. She watched as the white mist formed, and she smiled at how she used to blow out hot air to make _her_ laugh in the winter.

It isn’t the same anymore when _she_ left and Jinsol stopped doing that.

Jinsol looks around and sees Christmas-themed LED lights hanging from one lamppost to another, the street was filled with Christmas decorations and the payment was covered in snow. Jinsol looks up and felt thankful that she has installed a roof over her balcony so there wasn’t any snow that will be falling into her house or on the balcony floor.

Jinsol smiles as she watches how the LED changes colour, she would always point out the colour changing lights at Jinsol and request to get some to put at home. Of course, Jinsol would buy anything for her. Jinsol remembers how the LED lights are now tucked away in the storeroom far away from her and Yerim.

Christmas songs were heard coming from her neighbour’s house and Jinsol turns towards the family that has walked out to the balcony. The mother has her baby in her arms as they lip-sync towards the Christmas song.

“Ms Jung!”

“Good Morning to you,” Jinsol smiles when she sees her neighbour waving her baby’s hand at her. The cute baby showed Jinsol a cheeky smile before turning back to look down at the streets.

“Do you want some Christmas cookies? I can pass you and Yerim some.”

“No thank you, thanks for the offer!”

“No worries Ms Jung, Merry Christmas!”

“You too,” Jinsol smiles and watches them enter their house.

Jinsol sighs and looks at the now empty cup in her hand, all these Christmas stuff didn’t help Jinsol get in the festive mood. In fact, it made her hate it even more and if it weren’t for Yerim, Jinsol will not put up anything that reminds her of Christmas or even say the word ‘Merry Christmas’ to anyone.

Living on the highest floor of the apartment building gives Jinsol the peace she needs and be able to have the birds-eye view of the city. It helps Jinsol to forget about someone who is not around anymore.

She loves being high up so Jinsol bought the highest floor of the apartment building for them, but it wasn’t enough to keep her up with her.

Just as Jinsol was about to keep her stuff, she felt her apple watch vibrate on her wrist.

'I know it's Christmas season now, but work calls for you, we have a meeting at 12pm so see you there!' - Vivi

She stared at her watch, re-reading the message, again and again, debating whether to ditch this meeting or not. Jinsol sighed and pushed herself up and walked inside with the cup of coffee in her hand.

As Jinsol passes by her family photo, she stops and looks at the picture of her and Yerim hugging each other with a caption that reads, ‘Merry Christmas my sweethearts!’. The picture was taken by her. Jinsol closes her eyes and sighs, she walks over and puts the photo down so it’s lying face down on the shelf.

'I can be a good mother on another day.' Jinsol tried to comfort herself. Yerim is going to be disappointed but not surprised. 

Jinsol opens her eyes and walks towards the kitchen to wash the cup before walking towards Yerim’s room. Jinsol feels bad for Yerim and hates herself for it.

As she walks towards Yerim’s room, she passes by pictures that are pasted on the wall and none of them has her inside. Jinsol didn't want Yerim to feel sad over someone who isn't coming back anymore.

"Yerim?" Jinsol knocks on the door and hears shuffling behind the door.

"Yes, Mommy? Give me a second!"

“Ok.”

Jinsol waits in front of her daughter's door, she looks around and sees a familiar picture pasted on the door. Jinsol frowns when she sees that it isn’t in Yerim's room, but it is pasted on the door.

Just as Jinsol was about to take a closer look, the door was opened and revealed a smiling Yerim. Yerim was dressed in her winter clothing and had her favourite coat on.

It was a picture of the three of them wearing the same coat that she made for them.

It was Jinsol’s favourite coat too because she was the one who made it for them but after she left, Jinsol stops wearing it and just dumps it somewhere in her closet. Jinsol bites her lips as memories come flooding her mind.

"You're slowly getting too big for the coat...Let's get you a new one soon, alright?" Jinsol said as she adjusted her daughter’s coat.

Yerim smiled and wrapped her arms around her mother tightly. Yerim smiled on Jinsol's shoulder and Jinsol was taken back by the sudden action. Yerim giggled and broke away from the hug before rushing back into her room and bringing out a present for her mother.

"It isn't much since I'm still studying but I hope you like it!"

"Yerim... This is too much! Go and refund it!" Jinsol scolded when she saw a Swarovski necklace in the box. Jinsol pushed the box towards Yerim who pushed the box back towards her mother and the two bickered until Jinsol finally accepted the gift.

Yerim smiles and helps put it on for Jinsol, Jinsol smiles and hugs Yerim tightly. Yerim smiles even brighter as she knew she has made her mommy’s day even if it needed her to work two part-time jobs for a few months straight for it.

"Is mom coming to visit us this year?" Yerim asked softly knowing that it might affect her relationship with her mother now, but she still wants to know if her mom is coming to visit them or at least her.

Jinsol looks at Yerim. She thought to herself, ‘She still holds onto the tiniest hope for you to come back’.

Jinsol's smile fell off her face and it made Yerim guilty. Yerim wanted to say sorry when Jinsol just turned away from her. Yerim begins to panic and watches as her mother walks towards the living room, she follows behind and jumps up a little when her mother turns to her with a pair of mittens.

“I made this when I was out working, I didn’t know what to get for you so…I hope you like this,” Jinsol smiled and put on the mittens for Yerim. Yerim looks at her mother confused and wanted to talk again when Jinsol beats her to it.

Jinsol hopes it will be able to warm her daughter’s hand on her behalf.

“You are heading out soon right? Come on, you better leave now! You shouldn’t let your friends wait too long for you,” Jinsol said as she pushed Yerim towards the door and pushed her out of the door. Yerim stumbled a little and remained staring at her mother because she was too confused with what was happening in front of her.

Jinsol closed the door into Yerim’s face and leaned back onto the door, sliding down until her butt hit the ground. Jinsol brought her knees up to her chest and began crying quietly.

"Mommy?" Yerim called out from the other side and knocked on the door. Hearing no reply after some time, Yerim lets out a sigh and said, “Bye mommy, I’m sorry.” Jinsol heard Yerim’s soft footsteps walking away and Jinsol looks up to the ceiling, “I’m so sorry Yerim…Mommy isn’t ready yet.”

Jinsol took out her phone from her pocket and dialed Jiwoo’s phone number. She waited for a while before Jiwoo picked up the call.

"Hi Jinsol! How are you? What’s up?"

“I-I just want to…talk to you for a bit,” Jinsol’s voice cracked when she said that.

"Oh…sure! Same place?"

"Yea…The same place."

Jinsol wipes her tears using the back of her hand and stands up slowly. Her hand reached towards the medication box that she hid away from Yerim and took two pills out and popped them into her mouth. Jinsol closed her eyes and forced them down her throat. She feels a little better, but the pain is still there.

Jinsol was suffering from depression and is currently on the road to recovery.

Jinsol grabs her stuff from her room and her big grey coat from the clothes rack. She leaves her house and heads towards the car park, Jinsol got into her car and turns on the engine and stepped on the accelerator, Jinsol drove out of the garage and drove towards the University cafe where she used to work at.

It was also the place where she first met Jung eun who was once the love of her life.

-

"How's Jung eun?" Jinsol asked as she looked at the cup of tea nestled in between her hands. Jiwoo looks at her friend and looking at her eyes, she knew she cried because of her again.

Jiwoo just wished her best friend never met Jinsol in the first place so she wouldn’t hurt the poor girl’s heart and their daughter.

"I don't know... After what happened 5 year ago, Jung eun hasn’t been sharing a lot with me and Sooyoung," Jiwoo lied. Jiwoo looks down onto her hands as she played with her fingers, Jiwoo isn’t good at lying and hopes Jinsol doesn’t see past her lie.

Jinsol clasp her hands together and bites her lips, she is like Yerim, still hoping Jung eun will come back to them. 

Jiwoo didn’t want to watch Jinsol break down again when she is now picking up herself for Yerim. Jiwoo also wished Jung eun didn’t enter Jinsol’s life and mess her up even though Jung eun was her best friend.

"I just thought she will contact you or Sooyoung," Jinsol said with sadness laced in her tone, Jiwoo heard that and she immediately felt guilty for lying to the poor girl in front of her. Jiwoo bites her lips and nodded her head, Jinsol’s head hangs low and her hair formed a curtain to block Jiwoo’s view on her face.

Jinsol has started crying again at this point.

To tell the truth, Jung eun has been updating about her lives to Jiwoo and Sooyoung. Jung eun is doing well and has managed to change her job to a freelance one so she could travel around the world but still be able to get a job done.

Only recently, Jung eun’s life updates to Jiwoo has become lesser and Jiwoo suspects that it might be because Jung eun is finally settling down with her current girlfriend, Haseul.

The two of them spent some more time together in silence, Jinsol uses this time to calm herself down and wipes the tears away from her eyes.

"Oh erm, I have to go now. I have a meeting today," Jinsol breaks the silence.

Jiwoo looks at the blonde girl in front of her who is hastily picking up her briefcase and her coat. Jinsol is about to pick up the takeaway coffee cup when Jiwoo held her hands to stop her. 

"It's Christmas today and you're having a meeting?! What about Yerim?"

“I-She is celebrating Christmas with her friends,” Jinsol said as she wears her coat and thanks Jiwoo for taking time out to meet her. Jiwoo frowned and stood up, she glared at Jinsol who showed her a guilty look.

"Please spend some days with Yerim, Yerim has been wanting to celebrate Christmas with her mother for so long..."

"I want to go celebrate too Jiwoo... It's just... It doesn’t feel the same anymore and I don’t think I am able to do it at least without her at home."

Jung eun was her excuse to everything that Jinsol has done wrong and Jinsol hates herself because of it.

Jiwoo watched as her friend walked out of the cafe and passed by her. Jiwoo is about to leave when she heard a ‘ding’ from her phone. Jiwoo's eyes landed on her phone and saw the notification.

It was from Jung eun.

Jung eun sent a picture of her and Haseul.

It was a picture of them holding out their hands which showed a matching ring on their ring finger.

Jiwoo’s heart sank even deeper for Jinsol.

Jung eun also sent a text that says," Surprise! I'm in Korea now with Haseul to give you guys my wedding invitation and hopefully to see Yerim for the last time."

Jiwoo sighs and replied, "Ok, I'll see you soon."

“Oh, dear god, please don’t let Jung eun bump into Jinsol.”

Jiwoo prays as she walks out of the café to tell Sooyoung the news.

-

Day 3 of the Christmas Season.

"Jinsol?"

"Yes Vivi?" Jinsol said as her eyes remain glued on the latest case that she is currently taking care off. Jinsol’s eyes move between the computer screen and the open folder in front of her. Jinsol is preparing the stuff needed to help defend her client during the trial.

Having a poor work-life balance is part of a lawyer’s life. Though they are being paid well monthly, the pay doesn’t really make up the time spent working in the office or outside.

It is also the reason why Jinsol and Jung eun fell apart.

"It's late. Go home and celebrate Christmas with Yerim," Vivi said as she leans the doorframe of Jinsol’s office.

“You have spent two days straight in this office! Go home!”

Jinsol’s eyes remain on the computer screen as she ignores Vivi. Vivi sighs and walks toward Jinsol, grabbing her coat and turning off the table lamp, she grabbed Jinsol by the arm and pulled her out of the room. Jinsol was taken by surprise but managed to grab the folder on the table and her briefcase.

“Hey! What are you doing!”

“Bringing you to your car so you can go home,” Vivi said as she continues to drag a confused Jinsol down the hallway. Jinsol frowns and turns back to see Mdm Son shrugging and waving her hands at Jinsol to which Jinsol quickly returns.

“Why?! Yerim is doing fine at home, I just spoke to her like an hour or two ago.”

“I want you to spend your time at home not here, everyone has gone home except you!”

“That’s not the point Vivi!” Jinsol argues and tries to explain how she has gone home to check on Yerim. Vivi continues to ignore the taller girl and at this point Jinsol has given up on negotiating with her.

"I'm bringing you to the car park and I will text Yerim to see if you're home in... About half an hour."

"Wait Vivi!"

“Shush.” Vivi turns back and shoots a glare at Jinsol and it got her to shut up. Jinsol just let the older women drag her to her car and get shoved into her car before getting the car door slammed shut in her face.

“Hey!”

“Have fun sweetheart!”

Vivi blows Jinsol a kiss before giving her a sassy hair flip and walks away with her hand waving in the air. Jinsol remains seated in the car and watches how her boss turns to her and points to her cell phone.

‘You have exactly 27 minutes 36 seconds! 😊’

Jinsol rolls her eyes and shakes her head, she taps on Yerim’s contacts and drops her a text.

‘Where are you?’

‘I’m on my way to Heejin’s place for dinner, her mother invited me.’

‘Do you want to get dinner with me instead?’

It didn’t take long for Yerim to reply and her reply got Jinsol smiling brightly.

‘Only if we can get fast food tonight!’

Jinsol pursed her lips and thought about whether she would let Yerim have some calorific food.

‘Sure Yerim, anything for my baby.’

Yerim smiles and called Heejin to cancel the plans with her before sending Jinsol her location to pick her up.

-

Day 5 of the Christmas season.

Yerim has become more conscious of the words used when talking to Jinsol after what happened a few days ago because she is scared to hurt her mommy again. Jinsol notices it and feels bad for it. She wishes that Yerim will be comfortable around her again and that Jinsol has long forgotten about Jung eun.

"See you later Mommy!" Yerim shouted from the living room, Jinsol yells back an 'Ok' and heard the door closed. Yerim made plans with her friends a few weeks in advance and only told Jinsol yesterday because Yerim thought Jinsol would want to spend the day with her.

Apparently not, Jinsol chose to spend her day coop up in her room finishing up her work instead of spending time with Yerim.

Jinsol let out a sigh and leaned back onto her chair, Jinsol turned to her side and stared at the picture of Jung eun hugging a 10-year-old Yerim. Jinsol was side hugging Jung eun as they three of them pose for their family photo. It was taken because it was the time when they adopted Yerim from the orphanage.

It was their first and their last family picture before things began to fall apart.

This photo was kept in her room so to not let Yerim be reminded of Jung eun. Jinsol plans to keep this photo far away from Yerim to protect her and keep her away from Jung eun.

Jinsol hit her chest using her fist as warm tears filled her eyes, she regrets her decision and how it was the cause of everything that happened now. The pain she is inflicting on herself isn’t as painful as the pain she has caused for herself and Yerim.

Yerim lost her favourite mother in her life and now Yerim has lost another mother because Jinsol was afraid to face everything.

Jinsol doesn’t hate Yerim but instead hates herself. Jinsol could see Yerim making the effort to help piece back their family and help Jinsol to get back up but Jinsol isn’t making the effort. Jinsol feels so guilty and thankful for having such a sensible girl.

Jinsol looks at the photo again and a rash decision came to her mind.

Jinsol walks over to the picture to and picks it up. She looks at it again to confirm her decision before she wipes her tears away, picking up her phone, she pressed on the contact and waited for the other party to answer the phone call.

"Hey Vivi? I won't be coming to work for a while... I want to use this time to rest and make up for Yerim, I will still work on the case though so don't worry."

Vivi has a big smile formed on her face.

‘It’s time to be the best mother that I can be to make up to Yerim, it’s the least I could do after disappointing her for so long.’ Jinsol smiles at the picture before putting it back on the shelf.

"Jinsol, you don’t have to force yourself to do the case you know that? Just spend your time with Yerim and take this time as a break for your 5-year long handwork. You deserve it Jinsol, don't overwork yourself."

“Thanks, Vivi and please help me say thanks to the person who will take over me for the time being,” Jinsol said as she packs her stuff on the table, Jinsol place the folders and files in her briefcase before putting her briefcase in the drawer. Jinsol will never touch the briefcase again until she does what she needs to do.

“Don’t worry, I will do just that. Have fun!” Vivi laughed as she ended the call.

Jinsol sent a text to Yerim with a bright smile on her face,’Yerim, do you want to go to the ice-skating ring with mommy?’

It didn’t take long for Yerim to reply, ‘Yes! I’m coming home now!’

‘Tell me where you are now, I’m coming over!’

Jinsol smiled as she walked out of her room with her coat in her hands, Jinsol left the house with a smile on her face and it was one of the biggest smiles she had ever since Jung eun left her. Jinsol knew she is doing something right in life and she is ready to do even more for Yerim and herself.

‘One step at a time Jinsol, you’re doing good!’ Jinsol reassures herself in the car as she drives to where Yerim is at.

-

Day 6 of the Christmas Season.

Jinsol has been bringing Yerim out and about to celebrate Christmas. Jinsol helped Yerim to clear some of her bucket list and Yerim helped Jinsol piece herself up back. Jinsol bought everything Yerim requested for and most of them were presents to Jinsol’s friends and hers.

“Mommy, Let’s go get a mini Christmas tree! I want to get LED lights too!” Yerim squealed at the thought of being able to decorate a Christmas tree at home with her mother. Jinsol was a little hesitant because those reminded about Jung eun, but she decided to buy it for Yerim because it’s for Yerim and to create new fond memories.

“Ok, let’s go Christmas tree shopping!”

“Yay!” Yerim cheered as she skips towards Jinsol’s car. Jinsol smiled to herself seeing how happy Yerim was and how much they have grown closer. Jinsol finally feels happier and feels that she did something right for once in her life. She is starting to hate herself less for her decision and feels thankful for making that decision.

“Wait!”

“Hm?”

“Let’s take a Polaroid picture together in the snow!” Yerim cheered as she took her camera out and ran over to her mother. Yerim lifts her camera up and faces it towards them, “MERRY CHRISTMAS!”

“Merry Christmas,” Jinsol smiles as she pulls Yerim closer to her. Yerim jumps up and down happily as she waves the film in the air. After a while, the film was developed and Jinsol takes the picture from Yerim. Jinsol smiles as it is their first picture together after so long and Jinsol puts it in her wallet to keep.

-

Day 8 of the Christmas Season.

“Mommy let’s put the present underneath the tree,” Yerim suggests when she is sorting out the presents. Jinsol, who is lying on the couch, cock an eyebrow at Yerim. Yerim points to the wrapping paper that was bought during one of their shopping sprees.

Jinsol shakes her head and prop herself up on the couch using her elbow.

“Let’s wrap them up and invite people over! We can give out the presents too!” Yerim said as she crawled towards the wrapping paper and put it on the coffee table. Jinsol sits up and looks at their Christmas tree, it sure does look empty and cold.

“Please?”

“Who do you want to invite Yerim?”

“Everyone!” Yerim exclaimed as she put both her hands up in the air. Jinsol laughed and nodded her head, Jinsol moved to sit on the floor to help Yerim with the wrapping of presents.

“I want to bake cookies too! OH! I want a log cake too!”

Jinsol smiles at Yerim and shakes her head, her daughter has inherited a sweet tooth from Jung eun and Jinsol isn’t complaining. Jinsol ruffles Yerim’s hair and watch Yerim’s lips form a pout which makes them laugh out loud.

It is the first time Jinsol has laughed this loud and it feels nice.

-

Day 10 of the Christmas Season.

“Mommy, let’s hang up some Christmas stockings!” Yerim said as they walked past a shop selling Christmas stockings. Jinsol stops in her track and tug Yerim towards her, Jinsol points her finger at the blue fish stockings and said, “Do you think that stocking will look good at home?”

Yerim’s smile on her face grew bigger and so did Jinsol. Yerim drags her mother into the shop and they came out with four Christmas stockings, two for them and two for Jiwoo and Sooyoung.

“What should we fill these stockings with?” Jinsol asked Yerim who drums her finger against her chin.

“I know!” Yerim smiled and pointed her index finger at the candy shop in front of them.

Jinsol nods her head and waddles her finger at Yerim to agree with her decision. Yerim smiles and shows a casual shrug to show that her decision to fill the stockings with sweets is a good choice.

“First to the candy shop gets free candies!” Jinsol exclaimed and started running towards the candy shop. Yerim, who just processed everything, begins chasing after her mother. The pair laughed as they ran to the candy shop, Jinsol never felt so happy before and Jinsol is starting to love this feeling so much.

“I WIN! You have to get me candies now!” Yerim exclaimed as the pair stopped in front of the candy shop. Jinsol places her hand over her chest as she tries to catch her breath, it’s been so long Jinsol has run like this. Jinsol nods her head and waves her hand at Yerim to let her know she is free to choose whatever she wants.

The more time they spend in the candy shop, Jinsol starts to use this time to reflect on what they have done the past few days. Jinsol felt happiness bubbling inside her and was thankful for the rash decision that she chose to make.

‘I’m a good mother now and I need to be better,’ Jinsol thought to herself and she gave herself an affirmation nod.

Yerim waves her hands at her mother to ask her to head towards her and Jinsol walked towards her daughter with a basket filled with sweet goodies. Jinsol shakes her head at how much the basket is being filled up with sweets.

-

Day 12 of the Christmas Season.

Today is the last day of the Christmas season and Yerim asked whether she could spend the last day with Jiwoo aunty and Sooyoung aunty. Jinsol gives Yerim the green card and now they are on their way to Jiwoo and Sooyoung’s place.

Yerim has the Christmas stockings and presents on her lap while Jinsol is driving them towards Jiwoo and Sooyoung’s place. The car ride is filled with Jinsol’s ugly singing and Yerim’s loud laughter, Jinsol bobs her head to the song and Yerim moves her hands and head to the beat. Jinsol laughed when Yerim sang the wrong lyrics and Yerim let out a pout to which Jinsol cup her cheeks and coo her.

“Last Christmas, I gave you my heart~”

Yerim laughs at her mother who throws a heart at Yerim.

“The very next day, you gave it away~”

Yerim blocks the heart and Jinsol fakes wiping her tears.

“This year! To save me from tears, I’ll give it to someone special~”

Both sing out loudly and laugh loudly after that.

-

Jinsol and Yerim now have their hands filled with gifts as they make their way to Jiwoo and Sooyoung’s place to celebrate Christmas for the first time after so long. Jiwoo was the most excited one and even asked Yerim if she wanted to stay over at her place, Yerim asks her mother who approved immediately.

Yerim let out a big smile and swats her mother’s hand away and the pair began laughing over lame jokes Jinsol said. Yerim was happy to see that her mother was back to her old self again, the mother that she knew when she was 10 years old. Now that she is 18, she’s glad that her mother is back.

-

“You guys are here!” Jiwoo beamed and hugged Yerim tightly. Sooyoung stood behind Jiwoo and hugged Jinsol who walked towards her. Sooyoung gave two pats on Jinsol’s shoulder before giving her a smile.

“You’re being the best mother that I have ever seen,” Sooyoung whispered out into Jinsol’s ear and Jinsol nods her head to it. Sooyoung smiled and pulled Jinsol another tight hug, Jinsol was glad that people are seeing her efforts and how it has paid off.

“Oh! Auntie Jiwoo and Auntie Sooyoung, we both got you guys presents!” Yerim said as she walks into the living room with two big bags in her hands. Jiwoo shot Jinsol a shocked glance before joining Yerim in the living room.

“What a first Jinsol.”

“I got you something that you might need for your old age,” Jinsol pats Sooyoung’s shoulder and Sooyoung sent a slap to Jinsol’s back. Sooyoung looks inside and sees a lot of muscle ache patches inside.

“Still the same old you huh and I’m not THAT old!”

“I can hear those cracking bones!” Jinsol exclaimed before running into the living room to run away from Sooyoung who was now chasing after her. Both Yerim and Jiwoo laugh as they watch Sooyoung have her arms around Jinsol’s neck and rubs her first against Jinsol’s head.

“Let me go!” Jinsol cries while Sooyoung laughs louder.

-

“Yerim, don’t give Jiwoo and Sooyoung too much problem alright?” Jinsol said as she stood at the doorway. Yerim nodded her head and gave her mother a salute, “Yes ma’am!”

“She’s not that young anymore Jinsol, don’t worry about her. Sooyoung and I will take good care of her,” Jiwoo rolls her eyes and Jinsol stuck out her tongue. Yerim laughed at the two adults bantering in front of her.

“Alright, it’s getting late. Take good care of yourself Yerim, you too Jiwoo.”

“You too take good care of yourself; we will bring Yerim back the next day,” Jiwoo said and Jinsol nods her head before waving goodbye. Jinsol walked towards her car and drove home.

-

Jinsol walks towards her apartment door with a Chinese takeout in her left hand and her home keys in her right hand. Jinsol was humming to a song when she saw a familiar lady in front of her house.

She is wearing a familiar red coat and a familiar hat on her head. It was the hat that Jinsol got for her on her 24 th birthday. Jinsol is surprised that it still looks new on her after so long.

‘She’s not blonde anymore huh,’ Jinsol said to herself and approached the lady in front of her. Jinsol looks down and sees an unfamiliar ring on her ring finger, a sharp pain shoots through her heart.

“Why are you here?” Jinsol asked suddenly and it happened to give the poor girl in front of her a big shock. Jung eun jumped a little in surprise and turned to Jinsol with a small smile, Jinsol looked down and saw the red envelope in her hands. Jung eun followed Jinsol’s gaze and put the envelope out in front of Jinsol.

Without having to open the letter, Jinsol could already predict what is written in the letter.

“I’m here to see Yerim and to give you guys my wedding invitation,” Jung eun said quietly and her hands trembled slightly.

‘Bingo’, Jinsol sighs internally.

“Yerim is with Jiwoo and Sooyoung now, you can come in for a drink if you want…” Jinsol trailed off and used her chin to point at the door. Jung eun looks at the door then back at Jinsol, Jung eun smiles and declines.

“Why? Don’t you want to talk to me more?”

“No, it’s just. It’s not my home anymore and I have not much time to spare,” Jung eun explains as she remembers Haseul waiting for her at a nearby café.

Jinsol nodded her head and said, “So you don’t want to at least explain what happened or at least why you leave?”

Jung eun nodded her head and said, “Is the café ok for you?”

Jinsol nodded her head and followed behind Jung eun to a nearby café.

-

“Do you want anything? I can get you your usual fix,” Jinsol said as she turned to Jung eun who was standing next to her. Jung eun nods her head and thanks Jinsol, “There’s a seat over there, I’ll go get us a seat.”

Jinsol nods her head and orders their drink. Jinsol turns to look at Jung eun who is smiling to herself as she furiously types on her phone.

“Who is that?”

“Oh! I’m texting my…”

“Fiancée,” Jinsol smiles and places Jung eun’s cup of coffee in front of her.

“Yea,” Jung eun nods her head slowly and puts her phone into her pocket.

The pair remain seated like this for a while in silence, Jinsol is soon going to finish coffee while Jung eun has only taken a few sips of it.

“So…Can you tell me more about your…Fiancée?”

“Ah…Ok,” Jung eun is taken by Jinsol’s sudden request but a smile was formed on her face quickly.

“Her name is Haseul, we met 5 years ago…I met her at a local designer event and we just hit it off from there,” Jung eun smiles as she continues talking about Haseul to Jinsol.

Jinsol listens to Jung eun attentively and notices how Jung eun is smiling brightly whenever she mentions Haseul. Jinsol just wished Jung eun showed her off to her friends like this when they used to be together.

“Only recently when I managed to have my work changed to a freelance one and Haseul making it big in the fashion industry that she proposed to me.”

“You guys have been doing strong these 5 years after so much,” Jinsol comments about Jung eun and Haseul’s relationship. Jung eun stops smiling and bites her lip, Jung eun looks down at her hands as she clenches and unclench them.

“I’m sorry.”

“Did our 7 years of relationship not mean anything to you?”

“Jinsol, I- “

“It’s ok, it’s long over after you have left. I’m just glad that you’re happy now,” Jinsol smiles as she puts her hand on top of Jung euns. Jinsol squeezed Jung eun’s hand to comfort her and reassure her that she meant what she said.

“How about you?”

“Good.”

“No significant other?”

“No, I can’t do it so easily after you leave,” Jinsol stops when she realised her words have indirectly insulted Jung eun. Jung eun’s breathing stops and she looks at Jinsol with tears in her eyes. Jung eun let out a deep sigh and closes her eyes, tears are threatening to spill out of her eyes.

“I’m sorry Jung eun, I- “

“No. It’s alright, I understand. If I were you, I wouldn’t control myself from saying that too,” Jung eun chokes out as she hastily wipes her tears away from her eyes. Jinsol grabs the napkin on the table and passes it to Jung eun who took it with thanks.

“Why did you come back?”

“I-I come back to see Yerim for the last time,” Jung eun whispered out and Jinsol could hear Jung eun about to cry again when Yerim is being mentioned.

“You can see her this Thursday.”

“Thanks,” Jung eun smiles at Jinsol.

“How is she?”

“She is doing fine; she’ll love to see you again.”

“Is it ok if I let Yerim meet Haseul?”

“Why not? She should know who is lucky to marry her other mom,” Jinsol quickly agrees and that made Jung eun smile widely. Jung eun whispered out a ‘thanks’ and noticed how they have yet to talk more about what happened 5 years ago.

“Jinsol?”

“Hmm?”

“I’m sorry Jinsol, I’m sorry for leaving you two…” Jung eun bows her head to Jinsol who quickly stands up and tells Jung eun not to do that.

“It’s not your fault Jung eun, don’t blame yourself for what had happened 5 years ago. It was something that we can’t prevent or do anything about, it was bound to happen sooner or later. I should be the one apologising for the choice I’ve made that I thought was good and right for us. I didn’t know it would tear us apart and hurt Yerim in the process, all I wanted was you and Yerim to be happy and that working long hours at work to earn enough for us. I didn’t see the impact it had on us, so don’t blame yourself Jung eun. I should be the one that is sorry,” Jinsol said and gave Jung eun a soft squeeze on her shoulder.

“It pains me to see you working such long hours every day, I know we have spoken about this for so many times and it usually ends up with us arguing or one of us leaving the house and comes back drunk at night. It isn’t good for Yerim to see us like this every night when it happens. I see you all coop up in your room working hard for us and I’m not able to help just makes me feel useless in the family. I know it’s not a good reason why I left but all I wanted was to be someone useful and I just thought that breaking up was a good idea for us to grow and learn.”

“On the night that you left, I was on my way back from work. I bought your favourite food and stuff to tell you the good news of me changing my job. I even had an engagement ring ready on that night, but I came home to a crying Yerim and a letter from you. I spent weeks trying to find you and comforting Yerim who thought it was her fault that you left. I was angry, I was sad and most importantly, I felt betrayed. I just wanted to be with you forever and I thought all the things and obstacles that we have gone through would strengthen us, but I was wrong.”

Jinsol stops talking and sees Jung eun crying profusely, Jung eun kept repeating “I’m sorry Jinsol, I’m so sorry.” And this made Jinsol’s heartbreak.

“Look Jung eun, I don’t blame you for that choice. I wasn’t at home every single day because I was hungry for money to bring it back home to care for you guys and You are a designer, you need to travel around but because of me you had to forgo the numerous promotion in your career. It was me who robbed all those from you so please don’t feel so bad about it,” Jinsol said as she held Jung eun’s hand, running her thumb along Jung eun’s knuckles to help her calm down. Jung eun nodded her head and tears still rolled down her face.

“I looked for reason to stay but I couldn’t find any and I-I’m so sorry Jinsol,” Jung eun cried into her palms. Jinsol sighs and walks over to Jung eun, she squats down and cupped Jung eun’s face. Jung eun looks at Jinsol and was taken back by the hug that Jinsol gave her. Jung eun relaxed into Jinsol’s hug and pulled Jinsol closer to her, Jinsol smiles and moves her hands up and down Jung eun’s back.

“I’m thankful for everything and grateful that you now tell me why you left,” Jinsol whispered into Jung eun’s ear.

“I know it’s hard to make that decision but with all the things that was going on last time has led us to this ending and I don’t blame you for it so don’t blame yourself. We both have our own life to live and we choose to go our own separate ways. We both knew our relationship was going bad, but you kept on staying on until the end and I’m really very grateful for it, you even chose to adopt Yerim with me when you could choose not to. Jung eun, you really went through a lot with me and I know that that’s why I never hated you for the decision you have chosen to make.”

“Jinsol…I-I am thankful for being able to be by your side for so long. We have gone through so many ups and downs that we have grown to know each other so well. I’m sorry that I have chosen to give up this special bond that we used to have and thankful that you forgive me for what I have done. I wish you would find someone better than me and be able to have a perfect family for Yerim,” Jung eun hugs Jinsol tighter and Jinsol felt better talking to Jung eun.

“I’m thankful for meeting you and for being able to help shape me to the person that I am today,” Jinsol thanked Jung eun and pulled back from the hug. Jung eun looks at Jinsol who has a smile on her face, Jung eun smiles and pulls Jinsol back into another hug.

“You have no idea how thankful I am to be able to meet you.”

“Same goes to you Jung eun, you deserve everything you have now, and I hope that you will be happy with Haseul.”

Jung eun nods her head and ruffles Jinsol’s hair, Jinsol pouts and this made Jung eun laugh out loud. Jinsol laughs together with Jung eun and let out a satisfied smile before she goes to mess Jung eun’s hair.

“So…are we friends now?” Jinsol asked Jung eun cautiously.

“Best friends?”

“Best friends,” Jinsol smiled and gave Jung eun a high five. Jung eun laughed and stood up together with Jinsol, Jung eun picked up her stuff and finished up the coffee that Jinsol got her.

“I’ll see you at the wedding venue with Yerim?”

“You betcha,” Jinsol smiled.

“It’s nice to see you again Jinsol, I’m glad that you are happy now.”

“Same goes to you Jung eun,” Jinsol smiled and the pair stayed at the café for a while before they left. Jinsol walked behind Jung eun and followed the shorter girl as they walked out of the café. The cold air hits them in the face and Jung eun’s arm instinctively went up to hug her body.

“Jung eun!”

Jinsol looks up and sees a shorter girl with short hair walking up to them with a big jacket in her hand. Jung eun smiles and waves Jinsol goodbye before she runs over to the girl- seeing how Jung eun smile Jinsol knew the girl was Haseul -and pull her into her hug.

Jinsol takes this as a cue and turns to walk away from the pair, her heart still yearns for Jung eun but seeing how happy she is just now, she is glad that Jung eun is happy now. Jinsol smiled at the shorter lady who was able to bring so much love and happiness to Jung eun than she did.

Jinsol stops in her track and she looks at the married couple and their child, they held their hands together and a smile was seen plastered on their faces. Jinsol’s mind immediately went to Yerim and Jiwoo’s request, “You can always stay over here if you want.”

Jinsol smiles at the idea and starts walking again, this time quicker to get to her car. Jinsol gives Jiwoo and quick text about her change of mind and has asked her to stay awake for a little while more for her to reach their place.

-

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart

Jinsol turns up her radio as her favourite song comes up again, she smiled contently as she remembers about how she and Yerim sing along to the song just now. Jinsol bops her head to the music as she drives in the now quiet streets.

But the very next day you gave it away

“Bad Jung eun, you gave my heart away,” Jinsol commented and laughed at it. Jinsol thought it was funny how the lyrics really relate to her, that must be how all heartbroken people feel during Christmas. Adding the fact that Jung eun left her on Christmas day.

Now, she doesn’t feel heartbroken anymore-maybe a little but not as much as before. She feels happy now and is now on her way to be reunited with Yerim and to spend them with her loved ones. Jinsol smiles as she touches the photo that was taken by Yerim.

The talk with Jung eun did solve a lot of misunderstandings between Jung eun and her but most importantly, it allowed Jung eun and her patch back their friendship.

This year, to save me from tears

Jinsol fakes wiping her tears away when this part of the song came up and it would always make Jung eun or Yerim laugh.

I'll give it to someone special.

Jinsol is whistling to the song when she notices a car coming full speed ahead towards her direction. Jinsol’s eyes widened and kept hitting the horn of her car but the car kept coming to her direction, Jinsol quickly swerved her car to the left but the car came too fast for her to avoid it.

Jinsol felt her breath being knocked out of her body as her car was being slammed on the side by the other car. Jinsol’s car skidded off the road and into the grass patch filled with thick bushes and trees.

Jinsol’s lifeless body lay on the hood of her car as she was sent flying out of her seat and the other half her body remains in the car.

The other car was overturned, and the wheels of the car came to a stop like Jinsol’s life. The last thing Jinsol saw before the accident was the picture of her and Yerim that she took not long ago.

-

“Is this the family of Jung Jinsol?”

“Yes? I’m her daughter Yerim.”

“She got into a bad car accident and she is in a serious state, we need you to come down to XXX hospital now.”

“I-I’m on my way.”

-

“Mommy?!”

Jung eun and Haseul look up to find a panicked Yerim looking around the A&E room. Haseul helps Jung eun to stand up and leads her towards her daughter.

“Yerim!”

“Mother!”

“Where is mommy?”

Yerim held Jung eun’s hand tightly without giving Haseul any acknowledgement of her presence. Yerim turned to Haseul and held her hand together with Jung eun which surprised Haseul.

“I-I-Yerim…”

“Jung eun, where is Jinsol? Jiwoo and I are very worried, especially Yerim!”

Sooyoung and Jiwoo joined in and stood next to Yerim. Jiwoo hand’s grip onto Sooyoung’s hand tightly and Sooyoung rubs Yerim’s back in a soothing manner. Jiwoo bites her lips as she sees tears in Jung eun’s eyes, Sooyoung place a kiss on top of Jiwoo’s head to comfort her.

“She’s dead…”

Yerim’s expression changed to one that no one can decipher. There was nothing shown on her face and maybe it was due to shock.

“No! Mommy just texted us not long ago! This can’t be true!”

Yerim lets go of Jung eun’s hand before running past the A&E sliding doors. Jiwoo and Sooyoung follows right behind Yerim closely to make sure what Jung eun said was correct.

“Yerim!”

-

“Yerim…”

“Please mom, not now…”

Jung eun stops in her track and clench her fist, she turns to Haseul who walks over to them and pulls her into a side hug. Jung eun hugs Haseul and cries onto the shoulder as she sees her best friend lying on the hospital bed in front of her.

“Yerim, go home… Auntie Jiwoo and I will help take care of this.”

“I’m not leaving mommy’s side”

“Please…”

“NO!”

The four adults in the room flinched at the sudden raised in volume from Yerim. Jung eun excused herself and Jiwoo followed right after. Haseul stands next to Sooyoung awkwardly as she didn’t know what she should do.

“Yerim…Let me do this, please. It’s the least I could do,” Haseul speaks after a while. Yerim turns her head towards Haseul who walks towards her and squats down. Haseul was kneeling on the ground and held Yerim’s hand.

“I’m sure you want to do something too but the least you could do now is to follow your mother home and leave all of this for the rest of us.”

Sooyoung continued for Haseul who gave her an appreciative smile. Sooyoung nods her head and puts her hands on Yerim’s shoulder, Yerim looks up at her aunt and fresh tears fill her eyes.

“Keep this safe for Jinsol,” Haseul pulls out the polaroid that Yerim and Jinsol took together not long ago. Yerim looks at the picture and tears begin flowing out uncontrollably. Haseul stands up to pull Yerim into her hug as Yerim shakes uncontrollably.

-

Epilogue

*4 Years Later*

Jung eun and Haseul stands in front of Jinsol’s grave and watch as Yerim puts down a fresh batch of blue flowers on the ground. Yerim kneels to dust away all the dust formed and removes all the dead leaves that fell on the tomb plague.

“Mommy, it’s been 4 years since you have left us, and I miss you a lot. The first few months were tough but I’m glad mom and mother were there to help. Don’t worry about getting your place replaced by Haseul because you will always have an important place in my heart.”

Haseul smiles as she messes up Yerim’s hair, Yerim turns back to pout at her and this made her parents laugh.

“I have started working now as a lawyer with Aunt Vivi and I was given the privilege to work in your office. Mdm Son was grief-stricken when she heard about the news but now, she is getting used to not seeing you but me in your office. Aunt Jiwoo and Aunt Sooyoung have a new kid now, Chaewon.”

“Chaewon is quite a princess isn’t she Jung eun?”

“She is, I’m sure Jinsol would love to pamper her like she did for Yerim.”

“Anyways!”

Jung eun and Haseul laughs at Yerim as they sense jealousy in the air.

“I have been living well alone in our house and now with mom and mother moving it, I won’t be lonely anymore. Though I must endure their lovely dovely sweet-talking which disgust me but I’m glad I have Yeojin who is Haseul’s younger sister to join me!”

“Yeojin will turn your place into a warzone Jinsol, saying sorry in advance.”

Jung eun rolls her eyes but agrees with Haseul’s statement. Jung eun remembers how Yeojin went berserk because she couldn’t stand her older sister and Jung eun’s sweet talking with one another during one of the breakfast time they had together.

“I hope you’re doing well up there mommy, this year will be the first year where we all come together to celebrate Christmas as a new family after what had happened. I will continue your legacy and celebrate Christmas properly on your behalf. Today is the first day of the Christmas season, a Monday too. I know Monday morning is not your favourite, but I hope today’s Monday will be your favourite.”

“I love you mommy, Merry Christmas!”

“Merry Christmas Jinsol,” Jung eun and Haseul smiles as the help Yerim to stand up. The three of them walk back to their car and see a bored Yeojin with half her body out of the window to urge her sister to walk quicker.

The sky was clear blue and the snow had started to snow a little on that day. Yerim smiles as she joins Yeojin in the car and a familiar song was heard playing on the radio.

**Last Christmas ** , I gave you my heart

But the very next day you gave it away

This year, to save me from tears

I'll give it to  **someone special.**

_ _

_ _

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Hey reader! I hope you like Last Christmas. This is a long one-shot so I hope you have enjoyed this one-shot! Let me know how you feel by commenting below! Comments and Kudos are appreciated!  
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